Wedding Wednesday - Wedding Planning Etiquette Q&A

This week, I’d thought I’d touch on some wedding planning etiquette. Today you will find some common questions with tricky answers.   I am a stickler for etiquette in general, so it’s no surprise that I often find myself floored by what some people deem appropriate for a wedding. That being said, in the end it’s your wedding:  your day, your way.

Question #1

How do you let guests know where you’ve registered?

There are a few gentle ways to advise your guests of where you and your fiancé are registered. One solution is to put your wedding website on the save-the-dates, and include a page or section of your wedding website to reference your registries.  Please, please, please, do not include your registry info on the save-the date or formal invitation.  This is considered poor taste.  Let whoever is throwing your bridal shower(s) know where you are registered, so they can include your registry information on the shower invitations. Word of mouth works great!  Let your parents/siblings and bridal party know where you’ve registered, and the word will get out, guaranteed.

Question #2

Speaking of our wedding registry, is it okay to “register” for cash?

Absolutely not.  It’s tacky. (cultural traditions and money dances excluded)

You will find that many guests will give money, anyway, simply because it’s easy.  However, if you’re crossing your fingers for some cold hard cash to immediately put towards your honeymoon, take a look at the following websites.  Depending, on where you plan to honeymoon, these websites allow you to register for specific honeymoon related items or activities that your guest can pay for online.

Honeymoon Wishes       http://www.honeymoonwishes.com/

Honeyfund                        http://www.honeyfund.com/

Traveler’s Joy                   http://www.travelersjoy.com/

Question #3

Do we have to include a Plus One for guests that do not have a significant other? 

This is always a tough.  Just for example purposes, let’s refer to the subject guest in question as your college roommate.  I’m a believer that every “single” adult guest should have the option of bringing a plus one, because having a “buddy” or “date” to sit with at the ceremony, chat with at dinner, and dance with all night makes for a lovely time.  On the other hand, there are many reasons why you may not want to include a plus one option on your old roommate’s invitation: tight budget, small venue, they haven’t been dating very long . . . . .

A good rule of thumb is that if attending your wedding requires one or more of the following, then your college roommate should be able to bring a plus one:  a plane ticket, train ride, rental car, over 1 hour drive, overnight stay in a hotel. Also, if your “guest” is a part of your wedding party, it’s a given that he/she should be allowed an escort to accompany them to your wedding.

Often "single” guests may not even want to bring a date because they want to catch up with family and party with old friends without having to worry whether or not their date is having a good time, but you should at least give them the option.  Ultimately, if you aren’t comfortable allowing someone to bring a plus one to your wedding, then perhaps you should rethink including him or her as part of your guest list.

I could go on on, but I’ll stop here (for now!).  Check back next Wednesday for answers and solutions to even more precarious questions.